sickness of silence.
Monday, May 01, 2006
so i wonder again about
everything.
its a pain when you think too much
you always feel like the sky is falling
like you're falling.
the weekend was a bust.
was supposed to be a fun night on saturday
but i ended up with a headache
eating mee bandung at 3am
it was supposed to be me, hana and liza
with hana's bf friends..
zack picked up me, hana and liza..
then we drove down to wala wala
the guys got drunk even before the fucking clubbing
GUYS!
and we had to take cab to MOS
despite the fact that all those fucking idiots drive
MOS was packed. like duh obvious.
we were there at one..
smoove was so packed..
i almost died of suffocation and of being trampled on..
isa dragged all of us out there.
ended up at retro room
i was already in a pissed off mood.
dance one song cos they asked me too
then sat one corner with liza..
liza and i ciaoed after that..
well enuff of that..
im tired of venting..
the pt is.
me and liza ended up at al ameen eating
and talking till 6am.
liza was really venting..
cos hana is her cousin..
and well i guess they know each other all toooo well..
what a waste of money that night
and a waste of time..
i dun even get the fuckign progress package
the point of it all is
if i were ever to be with a guy again
i would need one that can take action
and doesnt like to waste time.
wasting time is only meant for girls
god damn it!
oh well.
watched lost and delirious today.
oh god.. it mirrored the whole time i was in love with lin
im so glad that i didnt fall into the darkness the way paulie did
and kill myself..
i really did want to..
i felt so much pain..
so much anger and confusion..and so much sadness..the way paulie did in the movie..
it was so jarring to see all that on screen
and im so glad now that i could overcome that moment..
and i didnt let the darkness consume me..the sadness and the pain..
and know i might never be over her..
because i know in my hearts of hearts i could never love anyone like that again..
but at least im stronger. =)
and yeah love just is.
it just is.
it just is what it is.
you cant explain it.
you cant control it
you can just feel it.
and when u feel it ..
you feel so high..higher than everybody else..
and you look down on them
and u know you're there..
and love just is..
--insignificant lies--
9:38 am
